I first started internet dating in 2005 and
had the good fortune for fall madly in love
with a gorgeous guy in the Midlands but we
couldn't overcome the distance and his
health, despite all our efforts and those
around us who really wanted us to succeed as
a couple.
Had it not been for this experience, I
probably would have given up, but it proved
to me that there are some potential partners
out there. Sadly, I haven't stumbled on
them yet.
The ones I have stumbled on fall into
various categories, but the ones I have the
misfortune to attract are the 3D's - the
deceitful, the desperate and the damaged -
occasionally all in one hit!
So, Not-so-Sharp Mind and Sharp Wit was rumbled, but was determined to keep me dangling with various suggestions of how we could still have a relationship. During a few rare moments of uncharacteristic openness and honesty he admitted that he has been unfaithful for the past 10 years and told why he needs to look outside his marriage, he described himself as a philanderer, and confessed that I was one of several ladies - no, make that females - whose trust and attention he juggled at various intervals when he became bored of being a house-husband after retiring early from the City. It would appear I was the only date he had "fibbed" to, as all his other conquests on the dating sites seem totally comfortable with the fact that he is married with a family. Hmmm..........
I said thanks, but no thanks, but he insisted we would remain "friends". It's curious how loose this term is, but we clearly do not share the same definition of friendship. If we did, he would find me to be a constant, accepting and loyal friend. But he is not looking for friends.
A keen horse-rider in my youth, with a fondness for waving a riding crop and shouting Tally Ho!, I was back in the saddle again soon after but puzzled why this time I was attracting the depressives. It seemed I had innocently used the word "compassionate" in my profile description of myself. I quickly deleted this word and changed my description to smart. This led to even smarter guys making contact, who clearly saw me as a challenge and someone to out-smart. Yawn......
This was followed with a spate of the 3L's - the lost, the lonely and the limp. There is little to say here I think, but you get the picture?
I once made the mistake of describing myself as the nice lady at Relate described me when we were having couple counselling. After deeply probing questioning and a few revelations which I volunteered, she described me - as "a happy, healthy, fully functioning female". So, I used this in my next dating profile, unaware that it apparently translates to prospective dates that I am good to bonk........
So, I try various different sites, assuming that a paid site will attract only the serious daters, but the faces remain familiar and the profiles pretty stereotypical and hugely misleading.
In the next post I might share some of these descriptions...............